Last Updated on November 14, 2019
I had a lot of unhealthy relationships when I was younger. I wanted to find love so badly, but all I kept finding were losers… attractive losers, but losers nonetheless. I figured that I would be able to change them. Of course, that never worked. I had one heartbreak after another as I either realized that it wasn’t going to work out or they did.
You may be wondering if there was something wrong with me that my relationships didn’t work out. There was!
I was a good person, and I expected to date a good person and be in a good relationship – even if I wasn’t fully aware of that fact. So there was a lot of resistance there when the guy I was dating was incapable of being the type of ‘good’ that I expected. That resistance caused strain in the relationship and, eventually, it was over – one way or the other.
After one breakup with a serious loser, I decided enough was enough.
At that time, writing out a list of what you wanted in a person was popular. It was supposed to help you attract that type of person into your life.
I did that. I wrote out a list and on it. I put that I wanted a guy who was musical and loved dogs, among other things. But, along with that, I did something that I had never done before.
I Developed Some Positive Affirmations To Help Me Find Love
I realized that the way I was talking to myself wasn’t working. What I told myself I wanted wasn’t true. I needed to change things up. And that’s when I came up with some positive affirmations that helped me find love that was perfectly what I wanted.
I wrote these positive affirmations down on a piece of paper and stuck them to my fridge. I looked at them often, said them often, and I started to believe them wholeheartedly, and within a few months, I found the perfect guy who I’ve been with ever since.
I Deserve Someone Thoughtful
First and foremost, I decided that I deserved someone who was thoughtful. I would no longer accept someone if they were obviously focused more on themselves than anyone else.
I didn’t want someone who was solely focused on me, either. I just wanted someone who was kind and compassionate and willing to treat other people with respect because they were capable of taking other people’s feelings into consideration.
Looking back, this positive affirmation may have been enough to help me find love. I was attracted to jerks – even though I didn’t like the way they treated people – and so I always dated guys who were obviously very selfish. They would steal from me, stay out all night without calling me, and do other things with no consideration for my thoughts, feelings, or needs. No wonder my relationships sucked so badly!
I Deserve Someone Stable
Stability is a good thing in life and in relationships. I learned from my parents that if someone is stable in their life, then there is a greater chance that they will be stable in their relationships.
The guys I dated weren’t very stable.
- Some were in and out of jobs.
- Some lived with a group of people or, worse, their mothers.
- Some partied all night… and all day.
- Some were really emotional.
- Some could fly off the handle at any second.
- Some had a warped version of their life and who was responsible for it.
- Some had been in and out of jail.
- Some weren’t very close to their family, despite their family being awesome.
- Some lost and gained friends like a second grader moving around from school to school.
No, stability was not a theme with the guys I dated and I knew that I wanted it to be, so I came up with the affirmation ‘I deserve someone stable’. And then I contemplated that statement every time I said it.
I decided that stability meant someone with a job, their own place, and balanced emotions. I also decided that stability meant someone who didn’t want to party all day and all night and who, instead, knew how to have fun but still was able to make good choices that affected their lives positively.
That’s exactly what I found!
I Make Good Choices When It Comes To Men
This positive affirmation was very important for helping me find love. It helped me spot the losers for who they really were and avoid giving in to the thought, ‘Maybe they will change’.
They never change simply because we want them to. That’s just something we tell ourselves to excuse their bad behavior.
That’s why it’s important to pick someone who is what you want right off the bat, or at least someone that you can accept as they are.
Once I started to believe that I made good choices when it came to men, I developed x-ray glasses.
In most guys, I was able to see behind the sweet talk and confidence and spot the qualities I didn’t want and then press the reject button.
I was also able to look past the awkwardness and uncertainty in one particular guy (two things that had always stopped me from dating a guy) and see so many qualities that I wanted, which is why I started dating him and am still with him today.
I Am Worthy Of Real Love
Looking back, this positive affirmation was also really important to help me find love. It helped me realize my value.
I realized that I had some pretty awesome things to offer a guy, and it boosted my confidence and self-worth to a point where I don’t think I could have accepted a loser into my life even if he was the most attractive man on earth.
I knew I was worth more.
My self-worth helped me feel good alone, which helped me stay single until the right guy came along.
I didn’t have long to wait. He came along quickly and in a big way.
Tweak Positive Affirmations To Help You Find Love
What positive affirmations would work to help you find love? Any that help counteract the problems that you are having in your relationships and express what you truly want. They should help you overcome the self-sabotaging thoughts, actions, and behaviors that are keeping you from finding the type of love you want.
For instance, if you keep dating people who cheat on you, then ‘I deserve someone who is faithful’ or ‘I am worthy of having a man/woman love only me’ are good options for positive affirmations! They will help you develop thoughts of worthiness, avoid players or guys who have a history of cheating, and date guys/girls that are much more up your alley!