Last Updated on December 9, 2019
Sometimes we can get stuck inside our own head and feel angry about what other people are doing or saying. But there is one trick that can always help us lessen our anger. We can put ourselves in other people’s shoes.
Don’t Be Blind To What Other People Are Experiencing
This world is full of people. You are not the only one who lives in it.
If you live in a place where other people are also living, you need to have compassion and think outside of yourself once in a while. You can’t be blind to what other people are experiencing and live as if you are the only person on the earth. That causes many problems for you and other people.
For example, the other day I saw a man trying to maneuver a tight turn in a parking lot. At the same time, this woman drove straight towards him and kept him from being able to make his turn. She was yelling at him and making gestures, but he was stuck and there was nothing he could do. He needed her to back up so he could make the turn, but she was too busy in her own head to think about the fact that he was stuck. She just wanted him to move. If she had just put herself in his shoes, then she would have been able to see that he wasn’t keeping her stuck on purpose. She would have seen that he needed her to back up so he could finish making the turn.
That’s it. That’s all you got to do. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see where they are coming from.
The chances are high that they are not trying to make you feel upset or stop you from doing what you need to do. They are just doing what they need to be doing or think they need to be doing at the moment.
Jerks Are Usually Reacting To Something Bad
If you could put yourself in the shoes of a jerk, you would see that their life is not full of rainbows and lollipops.
When people have good circumstances around them, they usually react in a positive manner. But, when people have problems and stressors in their life, they can react in angry and hateful ways.
That woman who wouldn’t back up could have been having a bad day. She could have been late to all her appointments for the day and that guy was just one more person in her way that was holding her up. That could have caused her to act irrationally instead of just backing up and giving the guy some room.
It doesn’t make what she did right. But, it’s important to not let these people get you upset. It’s important to put yourself in their shoes and see that their life may not be that great at the moment, and their reactions are birthed from that negative place.
Some People Are Just Clueless
Sometimes people don’t have to be having a bad day to do or say things that affect others negatively. Some people don’t think outside of themselves. They make themselves the center of the universe at all times. These people have a very limited awareness.
I am someone who constantly has people walk in front of me at the grocery store. I can be standing and looking at items on a shelf, and someone will slip in and stand directly in front of me. Then they spend forever trying to figure out what they want.
I used to think they were being assholes. And, technically they are, but they don’t know it.
They don’t think outside of their own life.
They probably don’t even see me standing there.
They are focused on themselves and what they want, hence they bump other people, stand in front of them, and make sure that they get what they want without having to consider anyone else.
Try putting yourself in these clueless people’s shoes and see how their ignorance and arrogance affect their own lives.
For instance, they don’t think about others, so they probably don’t have great relationships. Those poor relationships affect every other area of their life negativity – guaranteed. They may live in a state of self-hate or loneliness.
Once you start to see things from that point of view, you can stop feeling so angry towards them and start feeling grateful that you are NOT them and have more awareness and compassion.
Use This Trick The Next Time Someone Makes You Angry
No matter what somebody does to you to make you angry, take a step back and put yourself in their shoes. Are they just doing what they think is right? Could something have happened to them to make them miserable? Are they totally clueless to what’s going on outside of themselves? Just considering these things will help you feel better about the situation and give you the space to let go and move on.